Parenting a teenager can really stink some days. Last week there were a couple of those days that I was feeling the full effects of the “suckiness” of parenting a teen. At no fault really of my daughters, just life in general.
Parents never want to see their kiddos hurting physically or emotionally and here I sat watching her hurt. Sometimes there is nothing to do to fix the problem. All you can do is try and teach them a lesson from the situations.
Parenting a Teenager….Lessons Learned
It is no secret that AB is a soccer player. Playing the game comes with a price tag sometimes. Injuries. She has been extremely blessed to never have had an injury in the decade that she has been playing. This summer she has been dealing with a hamstring problem. Having done everything that was recommended from chiropractor visits, cupping, massages, and even yoga sessions, she is still struggling a bit with her leg.
Parenting a Teenager.. Sometimes You Have to Say No
She was having some pain and her coach told her she needed to rest her leg because she had multiple games this past week. The morning of practice, she felt good she said. As she looked at me with tears in her eyes begging me to let her practice, I had to tell her no. No to something that she loves to do. She needed to be still and rest. Who wants to hear rest when they want to play?
In typical Andrea form, on the way to practice because she insisted on going to watch, I started talking to her about the lessons she could learn from this situation. Of course, most 14 year olds are not wanting to hear about lessons to be learned. She is no exception.
Every since she was 4, I have taught her Og Mandino’s four laws of happiness and success.
-Count your blessings
-Proclaim your rarity
-Go another mile
-Use wisely your power of choice
Count Your Blessings
I explained that she had been blessed to never have an injury. That this situation could teach her patience, and it could teach her empathy for those that suffer injuries. The most important lesson that I saw was for her to count her blessings. That the next game was never guaranteed. She needed to always be thankful for the game she loved to play and never take it for granted.
As always, as you are trying to parent the child, you end up parenting yourself. My first tip is always try to teach them a lesson from any adversity that may appear in their lives.
Master of Emotions
The second time of the week when I felt that my heart was literally being pulled from my chest was yesterday. As the school year starts, the school has a tradition of the Seniors “rolling” the incoming Freshman’s yards. Our yard didn’t get rolled. No child ever wants to feel left out. As she walked out yesterday morning and saw there was no toilet paper in our yard, the look on her face broke my heart. I already knew that no Freshman in our subdivision had gotten rolled, and the other Mom and I suspected it was because we have a gate to our subdivision.
Try to Make the Right Choices
I quickly explained to her that no one in our neighborhood had gotten rolled. As she tried to tell me she didn’t care, I told her it was okay to be sad. Just know that it was probably because they couldn’t get it. I said to remember this when you are a Senior and try your best to make sure everyone is included in the tradition, so no one feels left out.
Y’all, it is human nature to want to be included. We don’t ever want to be excluded. As introverted as I am, it would hurt my feelings to be excluded from an activity. We have to do a better job of validating the feelings of our teenagers and teaching them to control those emotions instead of the emotions controlling them.
Parenting a teen can be tough some days, but oh so rewarding. Watching them grow into the man or woman they are destined to be is quite amazing. It is our job as parents to help guide them. Yes, they need freedom to practice decision making, but honestly the decision making skills should have started years ago with little things.
Parenting Goals
By no means do I have all the answers because I haven’t even been asked all the questions. You hope and pray that you are guiding and directing them in the path that will make them the most successful adults possible. Hopefully, she will be full of self confidence and break free from self doubt and limited beliefs. She will know her worth in her rarity, will always go the extra mile in anything that she does, will live a life of gratitude, and always consider the consequences to her choices she makes in life. My parenting goal is tomorrow I will try to be better at this parenting gig than I am today.