The journey of resilience starts with… Get Back Up!
Someone needs to hear those words like I did this morning on my walk. Somehow, you put some limitations on the amount of times that you should fall and get back up or even if you are ever supposed to fall.
Let me break the GOOD news to you… We all fall.
It’s our decision to get back up and go for more or to surrender to the defeat. Unfortunately, there is not a standard resilience plan. The falls are different for all of us.
First Fall
I have fallen a few times over the years during this fun journey of entrepreneurship. The first major fall took quite a while to get back up from was the death of my dad. That one kept me down for a long time and honestly, I questioned whether I could ever get back up.
I sat for months surviving and not moving forward. Looking back it was a combination of several emotions. I believe the paralysis came from grief with guilt. The guilt didn’t come from lack of doing for my dad because I knew I had fulfilled my duty during the three and half years of his sickness.
The guilt came from moving on without him. Would I be forgetting him if I moved on with my life? Those waters are difficult waters to tread. The waters of survivor’s guilt, I think I would call them. I wish I could say it went away quickly, honestly some days I feel like I am still navigating through them 5 years later. I finally got back up, 8 months after his death.
Getting back up looked different. I returned to the world of insurance that I loved so dearly full of anxiety and depression and finding myself sad. I felt that I had lost my mojo and my will to succeed. It has been an ongoing journey of self development and self reflection. This was new territory for me. I had been the girl full of competition and thrived off of the hunt so to speak. I suddenly found myself with no desire to win. No matter what my thought process was, I just couldn’t find the fight.
Second Fall
The second get back up came with a pivot. When I was introduced to the Happy Coffee, I could get back up and go at it again. I finally found some relief from the anxiety and depression. You can get a lot done when your days are not spent crying. This period of life lasted for about 18 months. I felt that I had found my purpose again, and I had found a vehicle to fulfill my purpose.
I believe that our purpose never really changes, and yet our vehicle for delivering that purpose changes and evolves. Our purpose is ingrained in our soul and sometimes it takes a while to uncover it from the hardened layers of protection that we have used to cover it.
Finding Purpose
I recently went through a course that uses advanced mental and emotional techniques to help you identify what is ingrained in your soul as your purpose. It was so enlightening to discover what I loved most could be the very vehicle I used to create the life of freedom for me. Thus bringing me to yet another get back up moment. For more information on finding what purpose is ingrained in your soul, schedule a free clarity call with me.
As you can see for me, getting back up so many times has required a pivot in my life and business. Coming from a girl that hasn’t embraced change in the past because change symbolizes lack of control to me. I thrived off of control, all these pivots are teaching me such a valuable lesson.
The Law of Requisite Variety tells us that the system/person with the most flexibility of behavior will control the system. Simply stated, the more flexible you can be in your behavior, the more likely you are at succeeding. Flexibility and tight control do not go hand in hand. You have to be open to change and letting go of the need to control the path.
Letting Go of Perfection
Letting go of control can be hard for a perfectionist. The illusion of perfection requires that you feel in control of all areas of your life at all times. Perfection is just that, it is an illusion. If perfection could be achieved, there would have been no need for Jesus’s death and resurrection. As I type these words that come to mind, while I know this on a conscious level you have to discover how to believe it on an unconscious level.
That is where the problem comes in for a lot of people. Their conscious and unconscious are not working together and aren’t in alignment. Success is more likely when the conscious and unconscious minds are in alignment and working together.
Extending Grace
That leads me to my next point when it comes to resilience. Grace comes into play on this path to resilience. You have to learn to extend yourself grace for the falls along the way, and grace to navigate through the messiness that comes after the fall. Discovering the power of self grace is detrimental in your ability to bounce back and keep fighting the fight. You will see others bounce back more quickly than you, and yet you are still feeling defeated. Know that God is a God of grace and you too can be a person of grace. He didn’t create you for defeat, but He created you to live a victorious life. Victory will be found in grace.
Stopping Shame
As you are walking in grace, shame will certainly try to rear its ugly head in your life. Shame that you are not where others are, that you are letting others down, that you are not good enough, and so many other deceitful lies that will try to slip in. Realize, shame does not belong on this journey. It is time to set yourself free from the shame.
Realize, you are where you are supposed to be, and you are not less than because you are not performing at the rate of others. You are enough just the way you are and where you are. You are Enough! Say that louder to yourself… You, my friend, are enough!
As you navigate this journey of resilience discovering how to let go of the shame, guilt, perfectionism, and embracing the grace will bring such freedom to you. You will be free to walk the journey that is unique to you. You will create the message that was meant for only you to create from the mess that you feel you have been living. Without a mess, would you even have a message?
Climbing Up
As I have been navigating and learning through my own personal story of resilience, I have picked up some tools that may help you when you are feeling a bit stressed and overwhelmed. Grab them and implement them in your daily activities to help keep you in the state of relaxation. Notice that the more relaxed you are, the more freely the creativity flows. Creativity and implementation will create momentum in your life and business. Momentum breeds success.
Embrace the journey to resilience. The fall and recovery is part of the message that you are creating to serve others on your mission. Realize that stories sell, and the more you are able to share your story the more people you will relate to and impact. Your fall is not in vain.
Fight your way back up, there are people waiting on you! Let’s go, my friends!
Let the climb begin again!