As 2021 is coming to an end, I have really been getting still and reflecting inwardly on some struggles that have been showing up in my life and business. I want to share a couple of realizations of 2021 that I have had in the last quarter of this year.
In this last quarter of 2021, I have really been diving into receiving.
Receiving has always been a challenge for me.
I have really dug in deep to try and understand where the difficulty in receiving stems from.
Every behavior is tied to some belief in our conditioning.
Just the way the mind works. Just the way we were created.
I want to share with you what I become aware of when it comes to my resistance to receiving.
Resistance to Receiving
One, my mother instilled in me over and over again from a very young child that I would be independent and depend on no one. She wanted me to be self-sufficient so that any challenges that came along, I could handle. While I appreciate this raising, I now see that it came with a flip side. To receive, requires vulnerability and a surrender of control. In my vocabulary receiving and independence did not belong together.
Second, I believe my resistance to receiving stems from what I was taught or maybe it was just what I heard in the church growing up. Too many times, scriptures about it is better to give than to receive are quoted. While, yes the Bible does state that, we also have to realize that there must be a receiver for there to be a giver. And our difficulty with receiving could hinder us from receiving the best gift ever offered… grace.
I can remember early on in my insurance career, I was always the one wanting to buy lunch for my agents. One day, an agent named Mike said to me, “Andrea, you are blocking people’s blessings when you don’t allow them to give.” Wow!!!
After hearing that, I became a little less resistant to receiving gifts or lunches.
Financially Receiving
What I want to talk about is the ability to receive money….
That one is a sticky topic for so many people.
Is money bad? Is money evil? You know all the crazy things that people say. A lot of the ones talking about it, are monetizing the platform that they are speaking it from. (kinda ironic, right)
I kinda sit and laugh as I type this.
I was led to pick up a copy of Business Secrets from the Bible recently, and in the first eight or so chapters, I really had some shifts in the way I saw financial receiving.
While I could say all day long that money was just an exchange, that didn’t make it any easier to understand UNTIL I read this one statement…
Money is simply a by-product of serving people.
Holy Moly!!! Where has that been my whole business life?
And then, there comes that conditioning back… well, Andrea, you should give for free.
Say what?
Where did we come up with this crazy belief that it was bad to charge for serving people?
That somehow by being compensated that your work became less meaningful. That’s complete nonsense, the virtue of service is no way compromised or diminished by monetary reward being received for the service.
Some man/woman along the way came up with that nonsense.
Leading to a lot of guilt and shame in making money.
A new way to look at money is:
More money=more service
For me, that really frees up the space to receive because it also involves giving.
I am excited to work through the book and really dive deeper into reconditioning my beliefs around receiving financially.
It also has ignited a passion to help other women break free from the bondage of feeling shame around being compensated. It’s time for women to own their power in the marketplace. They bring something special to the marketplace, and it is time for them to be more than okay with being compensated for their services.
Giving and receiving is a continuous cycle. You cannot have one without the other one. Remember that.
Importance of Connection
Another aha moment happened recently.
I’ve been noticing that I have been missing something for the last few months.
I couldn’t quite put a finger on it. Kinda like nailing a nail, and you hit all around the nail and yet miss the nail.
That’s kinda the way I have been feeling.
I knew I was feeling isolated after 3 years of working from home.
Just a few pages in my latest read, and it was like an aha moment hit me.
I am missing building connections….
Connection is the basis of life. Connection is the basis of all businesses.
We were not created for isolation, and yet so many of us have been forced into isolation in the last year or so.
My daughter is much more self-sufficient, and I no longer have the time to drive her places.My husband has been working a lot of overtime due to shortages in the hospitals.
I have found myself alone for much longer periods of time. I have found myself making excuses mentally to justify my self inflicted seclusion. I justified it by telling myself that I was an introvert and I love being alone. While yes, I do tend to have more introvert tendencies, it does not stop my need for human connection.
So, I am on a mission to connect more with other women.
Anybody else feeling this lack of connection due to the environment we are currently living in?
If so, share how you have overcome it?
These two revelations of 2021 are life changing for me personally and for my business as I move into 2022.
I have been feeling for weeks now that 2022 is going to be the best year in business for me to date, and I believe those two revelations really are going to be detrimental to me, increasing my impact and income in the coming year.
What type of reflection are you doing as we wind down 2021 and embrace the start of a new year of opportunities to serve?
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